in this moment book
I’ve been exploring the topic of self-love this whole week (see here and here). And today is no exception. In their book In This Moment: Five Steps to Transcending Stress Using Mindfulness and Neuroscience psychologists Kirk D. Strosahl, Ph.D, and Patricia J. Robinson, Ph.D, include a powerful activity for feeling love within ourselves, which we can practice regularly.

They suggest remembering a time in your life when you felt completely loved and cared for. Remember what it felt like to be accepted for precisely who you are, to bask in that warmth. Immerse yourself in the details of these memories, focusing on your thoughts, emotions and any physical sensations.
According to the authors, “Some people remember being held or gently touched by a parent when they were small. Others remember moments with a partner, such as holding hands and watching a beautiful sunset. Perhaps you have a memory of being hugged by someone who was very glad to see you after a long time apart. Your favorite memories might also involve snuggling with sweet canine or feline friends.”
Make a list of moments you felt really loved. Then pick one or two to practice with. That is, remember these events in detail. Recreate the physical, emotional and mental experience of receiving love. Describe these details in your journal. Then you can recall these sensations any time you need to. When your inner critic just won’t quit. When you’re upset. When you’re anxious. Or every day, if you like.
Remember self-love is available to each of us. We might need to work on loving ourselves. We might need to see a therapist. We might need to work through a workbook on coping with emotions. We might need to better understand ourselves. We might need to own our experiences — all of them. We might need to start meditating, or to learn healthy ways to cope with our inner critic.
But we can.
As the authors write, “In the end, the choice to love or hate yourself is completely up to you, and you can choose to switch from self-loathing to loving yourself at any time, and for no reason at all!”
Make this choice. And, if it’s difficult to act on this choice, then identify what you need and how you can learn to love yourself.
Because, again, you can.