Saturday, March 28, 2015

Hi, Everyone!


This is an update on the book and other bits of important matters.  The book is finally finished and we are now looking for a publisher.  It is with a couple of agents and when my RSD (Reflex Sympathetic  Dystrophy) a chronic painful nerve disease.  When that and my bronchitis get better I will write more.  Let me tell you about something else that's exciting.

April is National Child Abuse Month.  To celebrate this important month of awareness, I’d like to tell you about the blue ribbon I wear.  It’s not only the universal symbol for child abuse prevention, but it’s also part of the logo for the child sexual abuse (CSA) organization I co-founded in Iceland.
I love how this ribbon creates awareness!  Every time I wear it people ask about it.  That gives me the opportunity to talk about CSA and how important it is for adults, parents, and teens to be educated. 
As you can imagine, after 10 years of coaching abuse survivors and teaching about CSA, I have many blue ribbons pinned to most of my clothing. ;-)
Would you please wear a blue ribbon and tell people about child abuse and how important it is to help look for signs of abuse in children in their neighborhood and wherever they go.
Thank you.
Deborah Hunter Marsh
By the way please like my Facebook page.  It's important!

Living from the Heart, Not the Hurt
What does that mean?  What does that look like?
Well, let me start by telling you what it doesn't look like.  My life is no longer ruled by the burden of fear, shame, and pain I carried from the sexual abuse I suffered as a child.  All of this negative emotion festered and snowballed from childhood into adulthood.  It almost took me down, damaging my relationships and my marriage.  I became my own worst enemy, expecting the worst of everyone.
Today, I live from the heart, knowing and believing I’m lovable, valuable, courageous, compassionate, gentle, loyal, and creative.  I’m a heart-centered person, and I deserve all the joy and peace the world has to offer.
I'm no longer a rigid, controlling, too-serious, shaming, sarcastic stick-in-the-mud, who takes everything personally and is always the victim of my circumstances.
Here’s the good news.  You’re also a creative, courageous, valuable, lovable person.  Embrace this truth.  It’s the “real” you! 

Friday, March 27, 2015

Private Coaching
Were you sexually abused as a child?  Are you stuck as an adult?  I know how that feels.  You’ve read all the right books, tried everything you can think of, and the same negative things keep happening in your life and relationships.  It’s a depressing hamster wheel, and you can’t figure out how to stop it.
I can help.  I went through all of that on my own healing journey and finally found my way out.  I can help you escape this awful cycle, too.

That’s why I offer private coaching for those stuck in this frustrating place.  Some just need an hour, and they can move forward again.  Others need more.  Everyone is different.  
I charge $55.00 per hour for Abuse Survivor Coaching.  Call me at 619-889-6366 or email to set up an appointment.

If you need someone safe, someone who knows exactly how you feel and won’t judge, contact me.  We can talk about it.  I‘m always happy to listen.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Depression or Chronic Shame?


When a person has been resistant to every form of depression treatment, is it possible that their illness stems from a different place? In a recent New York Times article Hillary Jacobs Hendel, a psychotherapist, writes about a patient who experienced what she calls “chronic shame.”
Hendel’s patient, Brian, had tried every type of treatment but electroconvulsive therapy, which he didn’t want to do. After meeting with him, she learned that he was neglected as a child.
During our initial sessions I developed a sense of what it was like to grow up in Brian’s home. Based on what he told me, I decided to treat him as a survivor of childhood neglect — a form of trauma. Even when two parents live under the same roof and provide the basics of care like food, shelter and physical safety, as Brian’s parents had, the child can be neglected if the parents do not bond emotionally with him … Brian had few memories of being held, comforted, played with or asked how he was doing.

Hendel says the “innate” response to this kind of environment is distress. Brian blamed himself for that distress, believing he was the reason why he felt so alone. He felt shame for being abnormal or wrong. “For the child, shaming himself is less terrifying than accepting that his caregivers can’t be counted on for comfort or connection.” This is called attachment trauma. It results from a child seeking safety and closeness from their parent — yet the parent is not close or safe.
Hendel also is a clinical supervisor with the AEDP Institute. She specializes in a treatment called accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy. Because Brian didn’t trust his own emotions, he was unable to use them as a compass for living, she explains. She aimed to use AEDP to bring this emotional life into awareness and allow Brian to experience his thoughts and emotions in an actively supportive environment.


Sunday, March 22, 2015

British Airways told of pilot's abuse, victims claim
By Angus Crawford

The BBC has uncovered new evidence indicating British Airways was told of concerns about a pilot's behaviour.

First Officer Simon Wood allegedly sexually assaulted at least 50 children in Kenya and Uganda between 2001 and 2013.

It is believed that BA staff were told of concerns about Wood's behaviour twice in that time.

The airline says it's "shocked and horrified" by the allegations and that its "sympathies are with the victims."

A number of those victims are now suing the airline for compensation.

BA says it will "robustly" defend itself against the action.
Anonymous tip off
Wood, 54, from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire, flew BA routes to Kenya and Uganda for more than a decade.

There he volunteered at several charities including an AIDS orphanage.

In July 2013, Wood was arrested by police after an anonymous tip-off. He was charged with indecent assault and possessing indecent images.

In August that same year, shortly before he was due to appear in court, Wood killed himself.

It later emerged that he was first arrested over an indecent assault allegation in the UK in 2001.

Prosecutors ruled there was insufficient evidence to charge him.

Simon Wood In 2010, Wood won BA's Corporate Responsibility Award "for dedicating hours of his time" to charity work
Dismissed from charity
BBC News has learned that in July 2004 he was dismissed from the British board of Nairobi-based charity Nyumbani, because he had been found taking pictures at the charity of naked children at bath time.

Mike Johnson, another BA pilot who was also on the board, said: "Copies of the photographs were obtained and presented to the board".

Wood was removed from the board and told not to visit Nyumbani again.

Mike Johnson informed two senior managers at BA
(click link for the rest of the story)

Monday, March 2, 2015

Types of Dissociative Disorders
 Dissociative disorders run along a spectrum based on the severity of the symptoms. Find out about the different types of dissociative disorders along with their signs and symptoms

What are the types of dissociative disorders?

There are four major dissociative disorders:

What are the signs and symptoms of dissociative disorders?

Symptoms that are common to all 4 types of dissociative disorders include:
  • Memory loss (amnesia) of certain time periods, events and people
  • Mental health problems, including depression and anxiety
  • A sense of being detached from yourself (depersonalization)
  • A perception of the people and things around you as distorted and unreal (derealization)
  • A blurred sense of identity
Each of the four major dissociative disorders is characterized by a distinct mode of dissociation. Dissociative disorder symptoms may include:
  • Dissociative amnesia. Memory loss that's more extensive than normal forgetfulness and can't be explained by a physical or neurological condition is the hallmark of this condition. Sudden-onset amnesia following a traumatic event, such as a car accident, happens infrequently. More commonly, conscious recall of traumatic periods, events or people in your life — especially from childhood — is simply absent from your memory.
  • Dissociative identity disorder. This condition, formerly known as multiple personality disorder, is characterized by "switching" to alternate identities when you're under stress. In dissociative identity disorder, you may feel the presence of one or more other people talking or living inside your head. Each of these identities may have their own name, personal history and characteristics, including marked differences in manner, voice, gender and even such physical qualities as the need for corrective eyewear. There often is considerable variation in each alternate personality's familiarity with the others. People with dissociative identity disorder typically also have dissociative amnesia.
  • Dissociative fugue. People with this condition dissociate by putting real distance between themselves and their identity. For example, you may abruptly leave home or work and travel away, forgetting who you are and possibly adopting a new identity in a new location. People experiencing dissociative fugue typically retain all their faculties and may be very capable of blending in wherever they end up. A fugue episode may last only a few hours or, rarely, as long as many months. Dissociative fugue typically ends as abruptly as it begins. When it lifts, you may feel intensely disoriented, depressed and angry, with no recollection of what happened during the fugue or how you arrived in such unfamiliar circumstances.

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